Clik here to view.
Coping, Denial, Delusion – Biography of my Schizophrenic Brother, part 8
Snakes (M. C. Escher) (Photo credit: Wikipedia) How do you cope with having a condition like schizophrenia? At the time, my brother was so lost inside his own mind that we were unable to explain his...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Get Out of My Face
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/news/articles/2013/08/29/anxiety-linked-to-a-need-for-more-personal-space Another study that makes me wonder how much these scientists get paid. Seriously. I’m...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Seasonal and Cyclical Battles
So what’s up with me? I’m not entirely sure, it has no name. Every November I risk losing my mind. My brain and body attack me until I wave the white flag. I think it may be some physical and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Vivid Dreams, Familiar Territory
Good news is I slept, bad news is I had some bizarre dreams. Sometimes my dreams are like movies, or like memories perhaps, and I can recall every second of them, could even draw the images and scenes....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Self Harm Imagery
Here’s a big old horse hug to anyone out there who is hurting (I’m afraid to hug bears) (Photo credit: Reggie fun) **Trigger Warning** Self harm, I think, can be done mentally, with no outward signs....
View ArticleClik here to view.
I felt alive and I liked it
I had a beautiful moment last night, so beautiful I have to share it. Something so simple, or should be so simple, but has been out of my reach for so many years with PTSD always curbing me and taking...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Anxious Obsessive Land
Obsessive looping thoughts going round and round my head.I’ve been trying to start this post for days and I can’t get to the beginning of this loop, it goes by too quickly. Feeling like this Crazy Fish...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Nothing is right, fog, dropping balls, melatonin, letting go
NOTHING IS RIGHT “Nothing is going right for you today, woah” That’s what Hubby said during breakfast this morning, after my 100th edgy, irritable, or critical commentary about this or that. I said...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Meet the Therapist
I’m thinking this will not be as fun as Ben Stiller meeting Robert DeNeiro. But I also don’t think my therapist will be a former CIA operative. But I am going to try to let her into my circle of trust,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
New therapist: thumbs up
I like her. We jumped right in to explore my overeating. She said to focus on meals first and we’ll tackle the night snacks and binges later. She thinks I’m overeating during dinner due to my hectic...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mindfulness and depression, part 1
So I have apparently come back up out of a mild depressive episode. Having suffered recurrent bouts of depression most of my life – how did this one sneak up on me and disguise itself? I think the key...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Breaking the Night Snack habit – day 1
I want to stop over eating at night time. There I identified a behavior I want to change. I have been unable to change it for many years now. Years? Yes I think it is now years of this. I found this...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Forced
Every action is forced. This is what new therapist told me today – it sounds like every second of every day you feel forced into doing what you’re doing. Well let’s see. I force myself out of bed....
View ArticleClik here to view.
If I wanted this much drama
I’d move to Hollywood. Seriously blindsided again by a drama-nado. Someone at work makes an easy to make human error. Someone else finds it and starts talking about it, to everyone except the one who...
View ArticleClik here to view.
I’m not suicidal but I need to escape
I’m at my breaking point. Life is too hard and too painful. My regular therapist came back from her leave. I saw her yesterday and she didn’t let me leave her office. She sees I’m in crisis and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Attachment, love and NEED
The REAL! conversation was unplanned, and un rehearsed, so odd for me. It just happened. Started because of his fish tank… Hubby loves his fish tank, NEEDS his fish tank. He’s had salt water fish and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Maladaptive Schema – Finally a name for those diseased roots
I’ve never actually chosen life. This reality came crashing down on me a few weeks ago. I’ve been balanced precariously on the edge of not choosing death for so many years, that until now, I didn’t...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Personality Type: I have none
As in I have no personality – or I have no personality type, I am still undecided. ;) Still tossing around the question “what do I want?” and drawing so many blanks, more than blanks, it is like the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Personal strengths and tendencies
I’m looking for something that stays constant throughout different circumstances, and I thought about strengths and talents rather than broad areas of personality. We own our strengths, and can choose...
View ArticleClik here to view.
What color is Panic
IOP-T Intensive Outpatient – Trauma This program I am attending now is specifically designed for someone like me – supposedly. Someone who has been traumatized and needs to learn skills to feel safe,...
View Article
